A lot in two years...

Since the last time in I wrote in this little blog, a whole lot has changed. Shortly after my last blog, I was still living in my little one bedroom apartment in Shippensburg, PA. My boyfriend had broken up with me, and found someone else, let's say...maybe a day or two later, which was a complete surprise to me as we had been dating for four years. In February of 2010, I got a phone call from a friend who had been battling cancer. That night he told me that his brain cancer had returned and that he would be trying more treatments, but that he was unsure as to how successful it would be. This led to some very unhealthy coping skills, which led to some unhealthy choices, which led to some unhealthy driving skills, and unhealthy charges. Ahem. We'll leave that at, well that. I ended up coming back home to Oxford, PA and living with my mom-again, at 25. Crazy to me as I just finished grad school now I'm back at home with good ol ma. A few months after moving home, I reconnected with a friend from highschool-fast forward to today- we are married, living in a home we bought two years ago. We have two dogs. I had started working as a drug and alcohol counselor at an inpatient facility but I only stayed for two years. Too crazy of an environment to work in- if you don't get out within two years, they say you stay forever. The turnover rate at rehabs is insane. I started working at an elementary school in an urban area where it's 100% free lunch and we have program that gives the kids food to take home on the weekends. These kids are amazing- so funny, and witty, and bright. I couldn't stay away from the D&A field for too long though- now I work part time as an outpatient therapist one night a week and every other Saturday. It's crazy to look back at my life almost three years ago and look at it now. Some things are the same, some things very different. But crazy, nonetheless.

A few thoughts...and tonight at the restaurant

So today I realized something. Relationships, of all kinds, are a direct result of give and take. When one person gives too much or takes too much, it gets out of whack and it doesn't work. Only when both people give and take the same amount does it actually work, and that's a balance that is hard to find. It takes work. It's no wonder so many marriages fail, finding the right balance between two completely different lives is so difficult.

On another note, oh the restaurant. Aside from the fact that I made $15 last night, and barely $35 tonight, I want to gauge my eyes out at some of the customers I'm forced to wait on. The creepy perve was in tonight (the one with dementia) and was staring at me and blowing kisses as usual. Then the host (Justin?) I think that's his name, pointed out a big lady who had a lint roller attached to her ass. I know right? Ridiculous. How does a person not know there is a whole lint roller on her ass.

Then theres another lady, who says to my friend Alaina, "I ordered fish and all you brought me was this fried haddock." Umm....scuse me? Isn't fried haddock a fish? We are forced to wait on people who are not the brightest crayons in the box.

I want to sing again

I need to get involved music again. I want to sing at weddings, parties, clubs, whatever. I miss it.

http://www.myspace.com/memorychaser

Things Customers Say

Here are some conversations that took place at the diner I work at, between various waitresses and customers.

(Little Whitney)

I'll start with my favorite:
The Creepers
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Creeper #1: "Horny."
Me: "........"

(Me)

Okay here is a fun one....
Me: Hi how are you doing today?? My name is...
Customer: COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Fuck you.


(Brik- the host, who is like 12 years old)

Me: "Is this okay"

Customer: "Yeah, sure, whatever."

*10 minutes go by*

Customer: "Is there a reason you seated us next to the vacuum cleaner? It's like you put us next to the damn bathroom"


(Amber-waitress)

Customer: What kind of vegetables can I get with my turkey and fillin?

Me: Well today we have mashed potatoes, french fries, pineapple chunks, macaroni salad, apple sauce, and white corn.

Customer: I'll have the peas and onions.

Me: We don't have that today.

Customer: Oh--well why didn't you say so? What do you have again?


(Angela- a waitress who only turned 18 this year)
(This is from a customer who we swear has to have dementia)

Dave:" Hey hey wanna come to my house and play hide the weiner?"
Me:......no.


(Me)
Here's another one I just thought of....

Me: Are you ready for ice cream?
Old Asswipe: I want Raspberry.
Me: I'm sorry, we don't have raspberry today.
Old Asswipe: well, you had it YESTERDAY!!!!
Me: Well, our icecreams change daily.
Old Asswipe: well, what DO you have.
Me: Chocolate, vanila, strawberry yogurt, diet butter pecan, and chocolate peanut butter.
Old Asswipe: WELL, I WANT RASPBERRY.
Me: Again, we DO NOT HAVE RASPBERRY.
Old Asswipe: Well, why the fuck do you have a diet icecream
I said: Sir, we have a large population of diabetic customers and that is why.
I thought: You old fuckface, what make you think you get to wipe your ass with a golden tissue? I should piss on your icecream and and give you vanilla with questionable sprinkles you old shitface!

(Sierra, Waitress, 17 yrs old)

Same customer as with Angela*

Dave: "Come home with me and live in my house with my seven wives"
Me: "No thanks."

(Me)

This happened yesterday....

Old asswipe: yes, hello. I have a question, in the spagetti with meatballs, just how many balls do I get?
Me: 4.
Old asswipe: REALLY? I'd think you only got 2! haha
Me: again, 4.
Old asswipe: does garlic toast come with this?
Me: no, it's 50 cents.
Old asswipe: Geez, alright, I want it.
Me: (placed the order, brought out the food)
Old asswipe: (looking at me, staring creepily)
Me: Is everything okay?
Old asswipe: Now, I'm not complaining, but I would just like to say, if I paid 50 cents for this...50 cents!!! I would think it would be...THICKER.
Me: I don't own the restaurant, I don't make the food, I just bring it out.
Old asswipe: No tip.
Me: FFFUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Someone once told me...

Someone once told me that I should blog about my life, bc she laughs at my stories and she thinks it would be good for me, and really, I agree. Sometimes my life reads like a book, not necessarily the same book everyday, some days its a comedy, often a drama, and sometimes just a sad story. But anyways, im not trying to get all poetic. Just want to share my life stories with random strangers. It works for me :)

I recently graduated from grad school, masters in elementary school counseling. I've been in college for the past 7 years, yet I have NO job. Sometimes I feel like college is just one big experiment in hazing. They punish you with papers, transcriptions, tests, quizzes and enough reading to make me want to boycott books and then basically throw you out on your ass when you are finished, no job, no direction. Boo for that. Oh well, I think right now is a good time for me to figure out what it is that I want out of my life and go from there. We will see.

In the mean time...I've been working at a little diner...and here are some excerpts from a conversation some of us waitresses posted...(next blog entitled "things customers say"